Sad Confused Distressed...

I feel horrible...
I thought I'd already felt better...
but today when I heard his voice I started feeling depressed again...
I miss him so much...
but it's hard...
Ally asked me how I felt last night...
I told her I was fine dii...
Now I'm wondering if I really am fine...
I feel so sad...
I'm not supposed to like him anymore...
Why?? why when I try not to like him I will like him...
But when I wanna like someone absolutely perfect in every aspect I just won't be able to...
So confused...
I know it's a dumb reason to...
but I wanna cry...
Ugh I feel dumb...wanna smack myself...
anyways...Ignore this pointless post...
I just felt like letting go...