Aiih...I'm tired...

aiih...
whatever la...
I'm tired of quarreling with u guys dii...
believe whatever u wanna believe la...
as long as we stay away frm each other it'll be fine rite??...
I dunnid to look at emily's face go black...
And emily...u dunnid to feel like...wtv u feel when u c me...
bleah...sien dii...
tot settle dii tiba-tiba I found out an outrageous rumor...
makes me think of form 1...
when someone spread abt me saying somthing abt CTY...
Now someone spreading a rumor abt me saying things again...
I'm not defending myself...
I'm stating the fact frm my point of view...
If I did say that I should be his gf I would admit it...but I didn't...so I won't...
phooie...i'm exhausted...
Thank Gawd I have a life outside of school...
Or I wouldn't even have a life at all now...(no offense to my school friends)
but school really is exhausting...
So complicated...
owh well...maybe it's just part of our education...
How to react to a social downfall/rise...
Thank God for Cindel teman-ing me in school...( I know where her loyalty lies but at least she isn't some bitch tht goes minding others ppls business)
she's wonderful...can talk to her n she won't judge me...
Thank God for Christine who I can talk to without feeling like I shouldn't talk to her...
Thank God for blogger...which allows me to pour out without reacting...
Trish, Cam U guys r great...but u kinda threat alot so it's scary...xD
And if you people are wondering where I got those creative threats from...:-

• pluck ur balls and make grape juice...
• one way kick to NZ
• cut ur dick and put it up ur ass...
• mince blend juice and feed you to d dogs...
• skin u alive and put u into a pot of boiling oil...

I got it from them...hahahaha
lol...this post was supposed to be an emo post...now is a make fun of ur friend post...xDDD
hmmm...anywaysss
today I went to leisure mall for gym...
reached dere early so my mom wanted to go to giant...
I stood outside and watch d judo comp.
people watch d comp...
I look for cute guys...xDD
anyways...d judo was kinda cute...
dey didn't really look like dey were fighting...
dey look like little kids tumbling on each other...xDD
at certain times...
d guys/girls look like dey were giving thier opponents head(going down on dem)...xD
haha...I know...
Dirty way to think of judo...xD
dere was this one match...d guy was fighting den his pants fell...xDDDDDD
I laugh so hard I think I pulled a muscle...xD
he was wearing boxers...so maybe dey were expecting something like this...xD
den I went to gym...after gym supposed to have dinner...
den i sms cin...
n me and my mom...we ter-shoppe...lol
so we stayed at leisure mall(after gym after bath) from 7.15pm till 8.30pm...
I finally got my nike zoom!!! ^^
it's orange!!
I originally wanted pink...
but a closer look made me realize i wasn't cute pink...
It was scary pink...xD
dey matched it with a blue nike logo...yuckkk
so I went with d orange and complete white nike logo...
so we finally left leisure mall...
after a series of major shopping...
went to the new steak hse at Pandan Indah...
I think I saw Ung Yu Yi our ex-senior dere...
but wasn't sure so I didn't bother...
it was pretty good...
D steak was really tender...yumm...
Den I came home and took pictures of my shoe!!^^
I thought of uploading dem...but i'm lazy...=p
haha...
anyways went to d farewell party blogged halfway came home to continue blogging...
den my mom potong steam ask me go sleep...=(
so yea this post is one day late...^^

Sad...or Pissed...==

To Whom It May Concern...
I did NOT send that text to your Boyfriend...
I do NOT have a reason to...
I am NOT trying to defend myself...
I do NOT care anymore what you guys think...
I AM pissed though...
because I think you should know me better...
If I actually liked him I wouldn't have pushed him towards you...
If I truly liked him...I wouldn't even have introduced the two of you...
I CANNOT believe you all decided on a verdict without even confronting me...
And the thought of you actually thinking I'm capable of doing that...
Makes me lost of words...
Owh...and I did NOT flirt with Eric, Alicia...
If you think I was flirting with him then you don't know me at all...
Cause I talk to everyone like that...
Honestly...
I actually didn't want to post this...
but I couldn't help it...
I don't like to be judge by people that judge me for something that they themselves are doing...
And I HATE! to be accused...
And I you know how much I mean that...
Coz as I've always said...
Hate is a very very strong word...

Sad Confused Distressed...

I feel horrible...
I thought I'd already felt better...
but today when I heard his voice I started feeling depressed again...
I miss him so much...
but it's hard...
Ally asked me how I felt last night...
I told her I was fine dii...
Now I'm wondering if I really am fine...
I feel so sad...
I'm not supposed to like him anymore...
Why?? why when I try not to like him I will like him...
But when I wanna like someone absolutely perfect in every aspect I just won't be able to...
So confused...
I know it's a dumb reason to...
but I wanna cry...
Ugh I feel dumb...wanna smack myself...
anyways...Ignore this pointless post...
I just felt like letting go...

Tagged by Kah Ee...cos im bored...lol

1. What have you been doing recently?
Shopping, Thinking, Trying to Study (emphasize on the TRYING)

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
Sumtimes, when avoiding certain people...

3. What happened at 10am today?
Sms-ing alex...lols and having Moral I think...lol

4. When did you last cry?
Don't remember but I do remember when I was cried on...lol

5. Believe in Fate/Destiny?
Maaaayyybe...

6. What do you want in life now?
Him but I can't...D=

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
umm depends...If im wearing a hoodie I don't bring my umbrella...

8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed ?
Read, Text my huns, Snuggle with jewelz, And duhh sleep

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
boxer shorts lol...

10. What are the nicest things in your inbox?
hmmm...nicest arr...owh owh that one very very sweet msg from andy...
Im not saying what it says..he'll kill me...lol

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
err...People say so...but I don't feel it...xD

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
At the moment?? No...
I do have a pair of reaaaally nice stilettos that belongs to my cousin with me...xD

13. What was the last movie you caught?
27 dresses...bleh nothing in d cinema though...been ages since i went out for a movie...
Lazy to wait in lines...xD

14. What are you proud of?
My dog!!...and almost everything that I say or do...xD(ALMOST)

15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
24th May
02:29 from jie jie
Over to Western Hotel from Peking airport
The drivers here are alot more civil here than in Shanghai
from what we have experienced-thus far.
Stay Tuned!

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
The Show-Lenka^^

17. Do you have any nicknames?
yes...dumb ones...and some nice one...to lazy to list dem out...

18. What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
Yup and u know whats gonna happen now...from Trish abt 2 hrs ago...

19. What time did you go to sleep last night?
10 pm...imma good girl...xD

20. Are you currently happy?
well...im not sad...

21. Who gives you the best advice?
no one in particular...I just ask everyone and pick the majority...lol

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Nop Nop...

23. Who do you talked to on phone last night?
Cindelllll

24. Is something bugging you right now?
Yea...stupid Qin Ern

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
I think it was Yin Ru...or Doline...either 1...xD

26. Do you like yourself?
I love myself...I don't love everything abt me though...><

27. You want $5 or $10?
Stupid question I want a 10$ from everybody in every country

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Yup yup...

29. Who is your best best best friend?
I can't choose...sorriii

30. What will you do if you like that boy/girl?
I get shy...>< den when I get over dem I finally get their numbers...==

31. Who are your favourite stars?
the constellation??=Leo
the famous people??= IDK too many

32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
I love her...I hate somethings about her...but I love her...

33. Do you had even stead before?
hmm...does a 3 month relationship count?? if yes den yes i have...

34. What type of girl/boy do you like?
Sweet, Charming, Cute enough(not too cute), gets along with my friends
Loves me^^,
Nice nose...(IMPORTANT!! I know weird but 1st thing i see on a guy is his nose...cos I hate mine)
and um um...do not dress like he don't know the difference between a Shirt and a T-Shirt...

35. Now are you single/attached?
Single...but attached lol

Pass this tag to 10 people !

1. Cindel
2. Trisha
3. Cameron
4. Su-ann
5. Qin Ern
6. Christine
7. Jayne
8. Ben Ben!!!
9. Justin
10. Wee Jien

1. Would you date number 5?
Qin Ern:...err...== hmmm have to be nice...so how to say it...he's younger than me...NO

2. Number 2 just got in a car crash.
Trisha: not surprising...it would be ur wad 3rd??...though those were minor...

3. You see number 9 with your boy/girlfriend.
Justin:Umm...he's not gay meaning he would be with a girl...
but im not lesbian...soooo this is confusing.......

4. You come home and your room has been ransacked by number 4.
Su-ann: *shrieks* hugs her!! She returned from Melbourne!!!!!!

5. Number 1 is acting weird.
Cindel: Ask her what happened?...The say no worries wtv it is i'll try my best to help

6. Numbers 3 and 8 decide to give 10 a haircut.
Cameron + Ben Ang >> Wee Jien: Say bye bye hair jam jam

7. Number 7 just got tickets for him/her and ask you to go to a concert.
Jayne: sweeeeeeeet jom! lets gooo!!

8. Number 10 takes you to a bar.
Wee Jien: ehhhh u so guai...can drink???

9. Number 4 has to move to the other side of the world.
Su-ann: T.T She did...or something similar...she moved to Melbourne!!
T.T when come back dun gimme A(H1N1) kay...I still love u...XD

10. You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
Ben Ben a.k.a Ben Ang: U are my nephew and a guy...
go be a gentleman and a good nephew and admit...xD

11. Number 5 asks you out to dinner.
Qin Ern: If he's paying...okay...but my toy where got so generous ahhhh...

12. Number 9 and you are sitting on a bus.
Justin: O.O Where to get down ahh...I nvr sit bus b4...O.O

13. Number 6 calls you in the middle of the night because he/she can't sleep.
Christine: If she calls me I think we'll start talking abt David Archuleta...xD

14. Your walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
Christine: She won't do that...too ungraceful she's a Ballerina...

15. Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
Cindel: Go strangle that Son Of A B*tch

16. Number 2 offers to bake you a meal.
Trisha: mmm...Gourmet...Love her parents for sending her to cooking class^^

17. Number 4 comes to your door one day holding a koala.
Su-ann: Awww Cute...grabs it put it down den grab her...xD

18. Number 4 just got you an X-Box.Lol.
Su-ann: Keep it...i wan u...Lets go SHOPPING!!!!!

19. Number 9 challenges you to a children's card game!
Justin:...==...nothing better to do izzit??

20. Number 1 thinks he/she's overweight.
Cindel: O.O R u joking!!??? If ur overweight wad am I????

21. Number 7 looks lonely!
Jayne: Come lets go play with my doggie...^^

22. Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave her/him alone.
Trisha: U sure??? But if i do den I won't be able to treat u to a glass ok Vodka Soda...O.o

23. Numbers 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise party for you.
Qin Ern and Cameron: They Don't know each other buuuuuuut...
it wouldn't b d 1st surprise party Cameron throws...^^

24. Number 6 decide to dye their hair black.
Christine: Nooo colour will be the same...bloody waste of money!!

25. You catch number 9 by him/herself, crying.
Justin: What happened???? Don't cry!!!You're a guy!! toughen up!!

26. Numbers 1 , 3 , 5, and 6 all tackle you at once!
O.O I'd be pancake...

untitled

This post is untitled cause I don't know how to compress my feelings into one word...or a sentence...
I don't know exactly how I'm feeling actually...
I want him soo badly...
but I know I can't...
I really truly want him...
I want him to want me back...
but I just know it'll never happen...
because even if he did nothing could ever happen between us...
there's a silent vow between us...
I don't know if it was actually made...
but it's there...
I wanna cry because I can't tell him how I feel...
I can't tell anyone...and it's eating me up from inside...
It's like everything I've ever felt decided to attack me all at once...
This few days has been a wave of emotions...(and it's not PMS guys...==)
When I think of him and the times we spent and the things we talked about...
I feel like nothing matters but him...
Then I realize that everything matters...
Everything...because it's everything that is holding me back...
I wanna just crawl into a hole and wish everything away...
I want to close my eyes and when I open it realize everything is just as it should be...perfect...
I wanna listen to the sweet tune of the music box and know I'm safe...
I wanna feel his arms around me when I need someone...
I wanna hear him saying everything is going to be fine everything is going to work out...
I want to be able to smile and mean it like I used to...
I want to be able to say something and mean it...
I want to look at someone in the eyes and tell them what I really think...
I just want to be happy...
But unfortunately the world doesn't really give a damn about my happiness...
So I'll just have to cope...even if I don't want to...
I really truly want him...
And I really truly want to tell him...
I've wanted him for a very long time...
I kept trying to suppress my feelings but it keeps coming back...
But if there's one thing that can stop me it's the possibility of another heartache...
Maybe we're just not meant to be...

I received a call last night about a friend...
And I started thinking about it...
I love my friends...and I am sure that at that time they truly loved me as well...
I don't know why some things changed but I'm glad it did...
Because if it didn't then I wouldn't have been able to learn that love isn't something you can let go off so easily...
I know this probably doesn't make any sense anymore...
But I just wanna say I love them...
If they decide to stop loving me I'm fine with that but I won't stop loving them...
No exceptions...
Anyways I just wanted to say...
I don't care if u hate me or u think little of me...
Or if I'm the world to...
Or maybe if u think I stopped caring...
Because I can't stop caring for people I love...
So yea just come to me when u need help I'll be here...

Got it hun??

Don't go running off to some bar and hoping to drink it off...
At least call me so I can make sure u get to sleep in a bed safely...
And NOT get lost, run out of gas and sleep in the car...==

Okay this also mean my schoolmates...
Not just my shopping partners...
Even though my schoolmates are too young to drink and/or drive...
don't go playing pitiful suicidal girl...
it's not fun...trust me I should know...

I got addicted to the song You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift...
Whenever I hear that song I feel sad and happy all together...
The purpose of this post is actually cause I just wanted to say thanks to my friends who helped me at my time of need...
And even if the world don't give a damn abt my happiness...
at least my friends will give it their all to cheer me up...
I love them...I hope that someday maybe the clouds will clear up...
And this conflict between us will end...

White Horse - Taylor Swift

For some reason this song has been stuck in my head for a couple of days already...
So I decided to post d lyrics on my blog...

Say you’re sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As i paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should’ve known
I should’ve known

chorus
I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

Maybe I was naïve, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, well now I know

repeat chorus

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted, but I’m so sorry. . .

Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now

Oh try and catch me now
It’s too late to catch me now

THE HELL!!???

yerrrrrr!!!!!!!
Hi dats what he said!!!!!!!!!
ishhhhh!!!!!
so wad if my mom was dere!!!
Is dat all he can say!!!!!!!???
HI!!!!!!???????
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!???
Yerrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
Geram-nyerrrrr!!!!!!!
ish ish ish!!!
I don't even know if he'll be there next week!!!
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!!!!!!
GRRRRR!!!!!!!

Singapore!!!

Lol okay so like some of u should know...
I was planning to go Bali ryyyte???
But now instead of Bali...I'm here in Orchad Road...
Shopping like I've never Shopped Before!!
Didn't realize Singapore could be so fulfilling!!
Will Upload the pix soon...
Coz well I didn't bring my cable along with me on d trip...
Didn't even know the hotel had free internet services...lol
So yea I'm here in Singapore...
With feet tht feels detached to my ankles...
Arms that feel like thier falling off because of all d shopping bags...
AND I STILL WANNA SHOP!!!
haha I'm a madddd shopaholic I tell ya...
Owh well going Sentosa Island tmr...
need to wake up early or i can't follow the bus tht goes to d dolphin lagoon...heheeeeeeeee
me wanna see dolphiiinssss!!!!
I'm taking pictures like crazy as well so I'll probably delete some before I upload...
hmmm...wellllllll HAPPI HOLIDAYSSSS!!!! to u guys coz I'm shopping my heart away ^^